Today I realised that I had come out, to the world, in my first post. Many of my friends are unaware if my sexuality, I'm just a normal girl that turns up at events, parties and meetings for coffee. Partners and husbands /wives are always welcome but I'm not in a relationship so it never comes up. It's not that I hide my sexuality, it's just genuinely not something that comes up in conversation.  I'm proud of my sexuality and I'm comfortable in it/with it. It shouldn't make any difference to my friends, or at least not the ones who are real friends and to strangers it makes no difference - they are strangers.

It took me a long time to get here.

My first three children were conceived "naturally" for want of a better word. (It's accurate, don't get me wrong, it just sits uncomfortably with me.) I was with their father for 3 years, on and off,  I was young and under the impression that a man and woman should be together and make children. I was raised in a roman catholic family. Being gay was wrong, having sex before marriage was wrong, I was made to feel wrong. All that felt right was being a mummy, what ever that took.

My first pregnancy was unplanned. It took me by surprise to realise my dream was coming true - just a little earlier than anticipated. After my second baby died my relationship with their father was pretty much over. It felt wrong, and if I'm honest always had,  but it was how I was going to get my baby. My third pregnancy was unplanned and was the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with the father of my first 3 children. 

Now I'm much more comfortable in my skin and I know that there are many ways I can have children as a homosexual woman. (I've done my research, I like to make completely informed decisions). In reality it makes very little difference to anyone involved that I'm gay. If you only ever take one thing away from this blog let it be this.

A PERSON'S SEXUALITY DOESN'T IMPACT IN THEIR ABILITY TO PARENT.

I know this now. I hope everyone comes to understand this in time too.  Every single child born to gay parents is complete planned, wanted, loved and adored before it is even born. That has got to be a good thing.